January 14, 2016

The United States has a long and interesting history, and most of today’s current laws are appropriate to keep the peace. However, there are laws in all 50 states that are a bit “crazy” in today’s terms for a number of reasons. Some laws that may have been appropriate 100 years ago may have just fallen through the cracks, therefore they’re still on the books and seem pretty funny to us now.

For example, if you want to be a law abiding citizen in many states of the union, pay close attention to the animals in your jurisdiction. In Alaska it is illegal to wake a sleeping bear to take a photo, while in Arizona keep your donkey awake near the bathtub, as it’s illegal for a donkey to sleep in one. Still probably appropriate in today’s terms, it is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence in Colorado.

Frogs are somewhat sacred in California, as it’s illegal to eat a frog that dies during a frog-jumping contest. Keep your Floridian elephants at bay, because if you tie one to a parking meter in that state, you could have to pay the fee just as if the elephant was a vehicle. Elephants also can’t be allowed to plow North Carolina cotton fields. In Kentucky it is illegal to dye your ducklings blue and offer them for sale, unless you have more than six to put up for sale at once.

Minnesota ducks must stay between state lines if you have them on top of your head. In Missouri, it is illegal to drive with an uncaged bear, and in Nevada your camel can not be driven on the highway.

Other wacky laws across the country include items about mustaches and food in particular. In Alabama it is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church, while mustaches are illegal in Indiana if the bearer as a tendency to habitually kiss other humans. In Wisconsin it is illegal to serve butter substitutes in prison; in Utah it is illegal NOT to drink milk; and in South Dakota don’t sleep in a cheese factory. A generous act in Louisiana could backfire—you can be fined $500 for sending a pizza order to someone’s house without his or her knowledge.

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